Should I, Should I Not?

So I find it absurdly appropriate to make my first blog about decisions. Maybe because it took me forever to sit down and complete a blog, as it does for me to complete any task. However, this task in particular, baffled me. Why would such a little blog make me think so hard? And then I realized, it has nothing to do with blogs, that I think this hard. I second guess myself on just about everything I do.

I understand the larger decisions that make life altering changes and affect others, but come'on the day to day tasks?? Those shouldn't be a "should I, should I not" decision. And yet they are! So what makes us second guess ourselves? Is it that we are driven by emotion instead of the facts and reason? Or that we are just afraid of the consequences.

I for one am a people-pleaser, so I know that usually affects my decisions, or lack thereof. I know that one way or another someone is going to get hurt or disappointed. Usually their disappointment tears me to the core and causes so much pain. I try to avoid those situations as much as I can, although I know they can't always be avoided.

Or do I second guess because I've seen myself make some of the worst decisions ever and I know what consequences look like. I know that "following my heart" doesn't always work, and that my head has to be involved to make a sound judgment. But do I hesitate because of a consequence or again because of fear and pride? Is it the before part or after part that gets us?

Jeff spoke a little on this, this past Sunday, and I have to admit, I was one of the "grew up in church-make a decision-have a consequence-listeners." He made mention that our decisions a lot of times are patterned based on our Christianity. I agree to some degree. Most of my good decisions were made out of fear of the negative consequences. Like the fact I never partied in high school, and always hung with a good crowd. I don't think I made a conscious decision about these things, because I knew those consequences were negative, and I was driven to make a good decision. So there was no second guessing. It was a solid decision of right versus wrong. I notice that in my behaviors even as an adult. He made a comment that keeps ringing in my head, "God wants to draw us to Him, not drive us to Him." Hence, we should do things because we have a passion for wanting to live for Christ, not because we are afraid of the consequence and it's just "the right thing to do."

I now realize that in other parts of my life I should start doing more by the facts and passion, as contradictory as those might sound, than by emotion. If you live by total emotion you'll never make a good decision (according to my much wiser father), BUT if you look at all the facts and it's a passion then the decision will line up right. And by emotion here I mean those whims that come and go with the weather.. . .not the true passions that have stuck around for a while (like missions, spanish culture, etc)

But the true question here is. . what happened to the day of answering if you wanted strawberry jelly or apple jelly on your PB&J sandwich?? When did it get so complicated? All I know is that one way or another, I should do the essentials, and the rest will fall into place whether I truly decide on them or not!